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Mondays With Mullane ep18 - Rorting The Australian Way

1788 Captain Phillip offloaded the first shipment of tired, bedraggled, wretched convicts from Mother England. Horse thieves, sheep shaggers, poachers, pickpockets, and Irish political prisoners. Captain Phillip named this site Sydney.

WARNING: The Following Article is an Opinion Piece written by The Anonymous Author Mullane. This article respresents his views and not that of The Anonymous Publishing House. Free speech as well as freedom of expression and opinion are a fundimental and natural right for all. Censorship will only ever silence the truth and in the persuit of free speech there may be times where you read words objectionable to you and your beliefs. Either contest and debate the opinions expressed, or skip to the next article/video.


We might not agree with the words written below, but we will fight til our last breath for the authors rights to say them.


Captain Phillip couldn't have envisaged the petty criminals offloaded on May 15th. Their descendants would establish Australia as a vibrant democracy with the world's 12th-largest economy. As if built into their DNA, future Australians never gave up their ancestors' criminal culture. Plus, prospective immigrants embraced this culture.


In Australian culture, the phrase rorting the system is an informal expression that describes individuals or groups of people taking advantage of the system for personal gain. Rorting isn't to be confused with rooting. However, the result can be the same. This practice comes under numerous names. A highland fling, a backhander, a paper bag, a lurk, a joke, Johnny Cash, or jumping jack Flash shortened to jumping jack rhymes with cash. Some colloquialisms entered the Australian vernacular. Jewish Stocktake is slang for a deliberate fire to claim insurance. "A most fortunate fire." Lebanese back the practice of a bad back, enabling the victim to claim workers' comp.


The urban stories of these various rorts would be a novel the size of 'War And Peace.' Mohammed claimed he slipped at work and injured his back. He was now a wheelchair user. Doctors couldn't define or deny the injury. Mohammed was on painkillers and could've been nominated for an Academy Award for acting. The insurance company surreptitiously followed Mohammed for two years, never catching him leaving his wheelchair. After the court hearing, Mohammed was awarded substantial compensation. The insurance investigator told Mohammed, "Well, mate, you won. What are you going to do now?" Mohammed smiled, "I'm going to Europe to Lourdes, and there will take place a fucking miracle." The insurance investigator shook his head, "But you aren't a Christian. Mohammed replied, "For $500,000, I'll convert."


Middle Eastern migrant insurance scams are legendary. Staged car accidents, the slip over in supermarkets. In the 70s and 80s, RSI Repetitive Strain Syndrome resulted from too much wrist work. Mainly, women process workers were compensated for this ailment. RSI caused through wanking wasn't a legitimate eligible claim.


Petrol Stations abandoned by the oil companies. Enterprising entrepreneurs would lease these sites, paying a year's rent in advance. The fuel sold would be super cheap, undercutting neighbouring outlets. Just before the lease expired, Abdula would do a runner. Pocketing a tidy profit was helped by the fact Federal Government fuel levy, GST, and State Government taxes weren't paid. Also contributing to the bottom line. Tanker drivers would short-fill and fill the remainder half price for cash. The driver had extra fuel by short-filling company-owned stations, and the company manager was in on the rort.


A pizza shop in the Western Suburbs of Sydney, Gino's Pizzeria. Problem: Gino had a good sun tan, had forgotten how to speak Italian, and his real name was Ali. Customers were conspicuous by their absence. They deserted in droves because a Hawaiian pizza had no ham. All other pizza's were sans salami. Ali was nearly broke. His solution was a 'Jewish stocktake.' So, one night after closing. Ali turned the oven high, waited, and placed a plastic petrol container in the 250-degree oven. The container exploded, Ali suffered third-degree burns and was charged with attempted arson. The amateur arsonists should've put the container in first and then turned on the oven. Next time, hire a professional torch; their fee is 20% of the insurance claim.


A Parramatta Road car dealer wanted to expand his car yard, so he purchased the house next door. The home was a turn-of-the-century bungalow. The local council heritage listed all these derelict homes. Terry Trustme decided on a Jewish stocktake. So, Saturday night, he entered and made it look like forced entry. He put a plastic container of petrol in the oven, turned it on and pissed off. Sunday morning, the mother fucker was still standing. A highway patrol car pulled into the yard. Terry knew these cops; he bought them a keg every Christmas. "Hey Tezza, lucky mate, we were diving past spotted smoke, kicked in the door and extinguished the fire." You owe us a case of beer." Terry Trustme replied, "Thanks a million."


The story of the two Jewish clothing manufacturers. Sol meets Abe on the Gold Coast. "Sol, my friend, what are you doing on The Gold Coast?" Sol, I had a factory fire. I got $2 million from insurance and retired." Sol asked Abe, "What are you doing on the Gold Coast?" Abe, my bad luck. I had a flood; I got $5 million and retired." Sol," How do you start a Flood?"


Now, I must confess. I have witnessed many rorts and been a willing participant in other rorts. I concluded this was an accepted practice if one was to be successful in business. My first job was as a cadet journalist for horse racing publications. I quickly learned most races were rigged. Everyone was in on it, including the stewards, who all drove flash cars and resided in the most desirable suburbs. I worked for an SP Bookmaker. He paid numerous people to run his operation. The local police sergeant received an envelope each week. Higher ranking cops were paid, plus the Mr Bigs of the criminal milieu, plus politicians. It was just as well no tax was paid.


In 1980, Toyota approved me for a greenfield site in Castle Hill. We purchased 8000 Sq. M. We contracted a local builder. He immediately informed me the shire Mayor required $20,000 to change the zoning and speed up the building application; I reluctantly paid. I'd already paid Thiess Toyota $20,000 for the commercial franchise. Years later, this fee increased to $100,000 with rapid inflation. The builder whinged about paying the BLF union—the criminal Builders Labours Federation- during construction. When I was a Nissan dealer and on the Nissan dealers council. Nissan and all other vehicle importers paid the Wharfies $10,000 a month; if this wasn't paid, they walked on the roofs, bonnets, and boots.


The Wood Royal Commission investigated me for police corruption. They questioned me as to whether I was slinging the cops to debt collect for me. A debtor contacted the daily tabloids and gave my name, Headline, 'Businessman uses police to collect debt.' I denied any knowledge of this accusation, and the whistleblower committed a convenient suicide.


I also imported non-genuine car panels from Taiwan, a fraction of the price of genuine panels. I invoiced the panel beaters the cost of genuine panels for insurance companies' repair work, and the panel beaters pocketed the difference. This rort increased my spare parts division exponentially. The major insurance companies found out. They didn't object to using non-genuine panels but insisted they were invoiced at a lower cost. What a bunch of crooks.


The ICAC investigated me. They were examining Aboriginal Land councils. We were selling them vehicles. They buy tax-free, with no stamp duty. The federal government pays. We were selling them lots of vehicles. We worked a new Nissan Patrol TI gratis into the deal with the boss of the land council. These vehicles are required to be kept for two years or 40,000 kilometres. They were being sold to relatives and transferred after two years. My brilliant brief got me off any charges. An irony: Mohammed Ishaq, the land council's Chief Financial Officer, defrauded the land council for $16 million and high-tailed it back to Pakistan. Locating him would be like the proverbial needle in a haystack; note I never mentioned a woodpile. Aboriginal Land Councils were a licence to print money for the administrators. The millions rarely went to those in need.


I also used to sling the acceptance managers of finance companies to approve finance applications. Male managers cash female managers a night out at a top restaurant and a shag. We also bribed the RTA Roads And traffic to pass our vehicles over the pits for registration. My daughter constantly failed her driver's test for reverse parking, and the driving school fees were costing me. $200 to the inspector, she passed.


Finance companies were considered ripe for the taking. Many car dealers acquired floor plans from finance companies to buy stock. They paid interest on this amount offset by arranging loans to the finance company. Dealers would run their operation efficiently for a year apply for and receive approval for an increased floor plan. They'd conduct a massive stock clearance sale, dispose of all their stock, and piss off. Not paying out the finance company loan.


When we advertised on the radio, we paid the station for 30-second commercials but slung the announcer to receive another few minutes of personal endorsements. Remember "Cash for Comment Alan Jones And John Laws received millions to endorse products.


Slings can be overt or covert. The executives of the international rental car companies whom I did a lot of business with. These guys were content to give me their business in return for a day out on a luxury cruiser with catered seafood, top-shelf grog, and high-end hookers.


The motor trade was notorious for rorting; it was an entrenched practice. One used car manager who was a known sling merchant. He copped gratuities both on selling and buying. Barry Backhander decided to retire. So, he received goodwill from his replacement to hand over the keys to the used car compound.


Rorting can involve millions. Developers pay councils to approve dodgy developments and increase the height limit, and crooked certifiers cop slings to approve questionable constructions. All these practices are accepted as a way of doing business. This practice makes me angry because families get hurt. No other country has as a national hero a murderous bank robber named Ned Kelly; perhaps this explains Aussie attitudes to corruption. Most Aussies view the slingers and slingees as colourful characters, knockabouts, not criminals. It is said NSW has the finest police force money can buy.


Not to be outdone, Queensland in the days of Jo Belke Petersen. This state took bribery and corruption to a new level. However, business people look back on that era with fond memories. A friend of mine, a NSW ex-cop detective. He received a dishonourable mention from the Fitzgerald inquiry into QLD corruption. A notorious Northern NSW brothel owner wanted to expand into the Gold Coast. He hired my friend, the ex-corrupt cop, to liaise with QLD cops. Bobby Bent reported back to Cranky Frankie the QLD cops wanted $600,00 a month.


In actuality, they wanted $500,00. So Bobby Bent was copping $1000 for himself plus a $1000 from Cranky Frankie to effect the drop off to the QLD cops. Bobby Bent and Cranky Frankie both appeared at the Fitzgerald inquiry into corruption. Bobby Bent was questioned by the council assisting the commissioner, "Mr Bent, what was the amount paid to the QLD police?" Bobby Bent thought fuck, if I tell the correct amount, I'm in trouble with the cops and Cranky Frankie. Bobby Bent answered, "I don't know, always in a sealed paper bag."


We owned a hotel on the Gold Coast; I was approached by detectives requesting to drink for free in our saloon bar one night a week. In return, they'd respond quickly if I experienced trouble; if I disagreed, they wouldn't. They'd enough pubs covered to drink seven nights a week for free.


Countless Royal Commission and Senate inquiries into illegal gambling, brothels, bent politicians, and corrupt cops. While corruption was found to be flourishing, little was done; it was business as usual. Political scandals' The Sports Rort' cost a cabinet minister their job. Politicians falsifying expenses is an accepted practice by all political parties.


Petty-rorting taxi drivers multiple hiring turning the meter off for a cash discount. We used to go to the Sydney Showground Speedway. At the gate, the ticket seller in the white dust coat turned side on, and we slipped ten bucks into his pocket for six of us to enter. The masons used to fold their licence in a certain way when pulled up. If the cop was a fellow goat rider, they did the secret handshake. How many people have obtained a cheaper quote from a tradie for cash, no GST?


Dr Geoffrey Edelsten, now deceased, whom I knew I sold cars to him. The good doctor rorted Medicare unmercifully for millions. Edelsten was copping slings from pathology companies. Nearly every patient was sent for a series of unnecessary tests. Edelsten wasn't averse to writing fake medical certificates for criminals wanting to delay court appearances. Medicare rorting by doctors included billing dead people and falsifying records to boost profits.


I haven't mentioned some of my other nefarious practices; Australia has no statute of limitations. However, since 1788, bribery and corruption have been an entrenched accepted practice. Rorting has helped things run smoothly. I'm not saying it's correct. However, you may not be as successful if you aren't a participant. It's wrong, but only if ordinary people become victims. Banks, Finance companies, Insurance companies, and The Tax Office are all fair game. Are things going to change? I doubt it. The rorts by the people are nothing compared to the big four banks and the supermarket chains; they rort people daily legally.


Danny Mullane


Buy Danny's controversial memoir Car Dealers and Other (Honourable) Professions below.



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